Funny Stuff



  • Qantas "Gripe Sheets"

    After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet perminute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget



  • @zBrown That one has been kicking around the aviation industry (in which I worked) for ages. But I still laugh every time I read it.



  • @David-Harris said in Funny Stuff:

    @zBrown That one has been kicking around the aviation industry (in which I worked) for ages. But I still laugh every time I read it.

    FIRST TIME FOR ME, BUT I AM STILL CRACKING UP.

    There are some others that I recall which I am tracking down.

    I hope other folks post some too. Laughing is a not only a laughing matter, it is good for us.



  • @zBrown Every industry or activity has its own set of jokes.

    Take your sig "Without music, life would be a mistake." I can't remember how I stumbled upon it, but there is a whole genre of viola jokes shared among classical musicians.

    What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
    Nobody cries when you cut up a viola.

    What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?
    The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

    Did you know that some musicians consider "perfect pitch" to be throwing a viola in a dumpster without hitting the rim.

    Someone at MIT has collected a huge load of them and built a website just for them: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/viola-jokes.html



  • Speaking of industry speak... My one and only accountant joke:

    Client: What is 1 +1?

    Accountant: What do you want it to be?



  • How can we have been posting here for this long and not started a humor thread? Are we that serious?

    No way. So here's a thread for whatever random silly/funny/stupid shit you think worth sharing.

    I'll start with today's idiocy from my favorite source of online silliness, eatliver.com
    I'll show one shot of the ten or so in their "Funniest Figure Skating Faces" post, and encourage you to go and see the rest at https://www.eatliver.com/funniest-figure-skating-faces-gallery/#more-53879

    Here we go...

    figure-skating-faces9.jpg



  • @David-Harris said in Humor:

    How can we have been posting here for this long and not started a humor thread? Are we that serious?

    No way. So here's a thread for whatever random silly/funny/stupid shit you think worth sharing.

    We actually do. @zBrown started one some while back. He also seeded a Tech Humor Thread for geek types. They did not gain traction despite being pretty damned funny.

    In any case, I shall merge this one into that one out of "respect" for "precedence". And perhaps change the title to your more concise and descriptive "Humor". Cool that you revived as I think we could all use a bit more humor during these troubled times. 🙂 🐕



  • Don't we all miss Tami?

    Tami did a lot of funny stuff.



  • I do miss Tami, but she did not like folks posting her copyrighted cartoons.

    And, of course, so many jokes we old fogs enjoyed, are now considered "incorrect" these daze.

    However! Moving on to current news!

    In another National disaster, our President's collection of books was destroyed in a fire this morning.

    Although, a Presidential Library usually does not get created, until after a president leaves office, the two most important books were both destroyed. One, had not even been colored in.



  • @FritzRay

    I guess I should take it down.

    I did buy the books.IMG_6830.PNG



  • @David-Harris said in Funny Stuff:

    Here we go...

    figure-skating-faces9.jpg

    This pic is actually pretty interesting: The centripetal force and angular momentum is literally pulling the facial skin away from bone. Yeah, I used to really be into physics.

    @FritzRay said in Funny Stuff:

    I do miss Tami, but she did not like folks posting her copyrighted cartoons.

    Alas, even though we make a best faith effort to respect copyrights here at RPU once something is posted anywhere on the Internet it becomes vulnerable to both domestic and International violations. And while there may be some recourse for the former for those affluent enough to "lawyer up", yer' pretty much out of luck w.r.t. the latter. Moreover, even with a judgement in your favor..... good luck collecting any damages or legal fees.

    Enter the DMCA, ostensibly necessary to add "more teeth" to abuse of copyright laws but in reality more oft than not a bully tactic used by "the machine" to stifle the competition.

    Be all that as it may, was not she also having even more grave issues involving stalker and full on restraining order? Think I recall @johntp saying something about this?



  • "Goggling" © Tami Knight cartoons brings back a large result set. In fact I believe that was the source of the shoe cartoon I took down.


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